The Foundation of being a Leatherman
I would like to make clear here and now that there is a difference between a Leather Boy and a Slave. This Site is dedicated to those who wish to learn about the realities of the leather culture, and not for the fulfillments of the fantasy of the gay mainstream.
I will share with you as best I can the teachings of my mentors, Master Jon and Master Mel. I was lucky because my introduction to Leather was twenty-four years ago in San Francisco, when South of Market was still in its prime. A very good friend of mine asked me to meet him at a bar called the Arena. Not knowing any better, as I was a Disco Danny from Polk Street, I was not prepared for the coming events. I will not embarrass myself or you by telling you how I dressed. Jon bought me at the Slave Auction at the Arena that night, and for the next six months, my seemingly perfect Polkette life was ripped asunder. The rest is, as they say, history.
From the very first interview to the last evaluation, each step of my training as a boy, I was taught to keep one thing in mind, pride in myself and pride in my Daddy, odd as it may seem, as you are being told how worthless you are, but this is only being done so that you can be built up in your daddy’s image.. The path was not an easy one, it demanded a lot of me, from physical training to mind control. When all was said and done, I learned the best in Bondage techniques.
My Mentors did instill in me that " You are to walk with pride in being a "Leather Boy". Your Mentor/Daddy should be inspiring you and motivating you, while you show him you've got what it takes to become a Leather boy. There are times when you may ask yourself why am I doing it, but the pride in your Mentor's/Daddy's eyes when you achieve the next step, gives you the strength to go on.
Not all Leather boys were lucky enough to have an experienced Master or mentor like Jon and Mel. Your Master or Mentor will teach you everything you need to know and never ask anything of you that he would not demand of himself. A special bond will be developed by helping you to conquer fear, by teaching you how to respond to orders, and by helping you to build mental and physical confidence in yourself. Throughout your training, he'll be there, pushing you and advising you, thereby sealing the bond between you. Because of the time involved, the bond between you will never be broken.
This does not mean that you will commit to him, or that you passed his expectations to be his boy, but the bond is still there. It is this bond that you strive for when you meet someone for Bondage play. When you respect someone, you give him your complete attention. Actions speak louder than words in the BDSM community. To show respect: you call a person "SIR". There is a hierarchy in the BDSM community and even Leather Tops/Daddies will show respect to the upper echelon. Respect goes beyond common courtesies. It is time spent getting to know each other, establishing intimate bonds with each other. My Master Jon did not need to teach me with an attitude of authority. With pride, I knew my place. I did not pretend to be bad or disobedient, I did my best to please him. With trust in my master, I was open to his teachings and gained wisdom from his personal experience and knowledge.
Within the Leather Community, we must look out for each other. If you see, or are aware of a scene that is unsafe or not consensual, it is our responsibility look out for the persons safety. If a person is going too far with another person in a scene, we should take the responsibility to intervene. Out of respect to all concerned, this can be done by getting their attention and taking them aside, or by whispering to him out of ear shot of anyone else. If the person is a Top, he may not be happy about the interruption. But it is better for that to happen than what happened in the old days. In the old days, the top was strung up and all the boys who witnessed the action sat to the side with their Tops, Daddy's, or Masters standing behind them, with a hand on their shoulder as he was disciplined. I only attended such an occasion once in the beginning of my training. It scared the hell out of me! When all was said and done, the Top apologized to the Boy he was with, to all the Boys for having to witness the event, and to all the Tops, Masters, and Daddy's for bringing shame to their house. He was then welcomed back into the fold. The importance of this action being taken was to reassure the boys that unacceptable behavior from a Leather Daddy will not be tolerated. Respect shouldn't ever be given freely, it is to be earned. If a boy loses respect for the concept of a Leather Top, Daddy, or Master, the damage is irreparable.
A person who does not show respect for himself, cannot respect others. A Leather Man takes care of himself, and respects himself. He is aware of how he conducts himself in public. He is to show respect for the Old Guard rules even though he may not wish to abide by these rules himself. It is the practice of discipline that improves the quality of our lives and those around us.
Being a Leather Man means you are a man whose leathers and uniform speak of you experience, desires and skills. Leather Men don't need to pretend to have all the answers about discipline or the BDSM lifestyle. One mans needs may not be that of another. There is no set way to the BDSM experience. There are basic practices to the art of BDSM, but BDSM experiences are different, in that basic needs are met by using different methods to fit the needs of the people involved